On A Personal Note ...

Monday's posts will be sharing some thoughts and other personal things going on in my life. You do not need to read these if you feel they aren't interesting to you, however, if you connect with a few thoughts I share here, please feel free to follow along. These posts are mostly written for me and in hoping others might find a connection to what I'm going through. For those who do feel it, welcome to my world. For those who aren't as inspired by personal blog posts, come back soon because I will always share what's going on "In The Studio".

Recently, while the internet was limited, I learned I have Type II Diabetes. I wasn't surprised nor was I upset. When I found out, relief washed over me. I knew I was having troubles, I knew I was feeling oddly and couldn't really figure out why. Once the new doctor I was able to go to confirmed this diagnosis, I relaxed and realized there is a lot I can do to take control. And on a side note, I have a new doctor thanks to my daughter's vigilance and work in getting me free insurance. It's been wonderful to get the blood work and medication without trying to figure out how to pay for it without an income. Bless her and those that work with this program through the state.

Now that I am starting to make some personal changes like walking (when it's not too hot) and food choices (not a big difference in what but how much) I am confident I can find the way to live with diabetes and continue on my path. I have to get used to the medication ... it has made eating a "chore" because I'm never hungry, once in awhile I get dizzy both from blood sugar drops and the medication and I've been extremely tired and listless. I will get used to it, understanding more what it feels like and adapt and adjust accordingly.

It's also been a rough week for someone who has empathy as I do. There's been a lot going on with my circle of friends and family members. Each upset, disease, death has been taken in. It's a reminder that I am an "angst-sucking sponge" when I start to feel so tired. And I AM tired.

I'm actually exhausted ... unable to stop worrying about everything around me, feeling sad a lot, unable to pull myself out of the negative space I'm in (sooo not like me!). I don't usually stay there for this long. I feel let down, uninspired, unusually cranky, filled with static electricity and unable to just shut it off. All the tricks I use to keep myself in a positive frame of mind when I struggle like this hasn't worked this time. Or not yet ... it does help but I don't stay in a positive frame of mind for long. That is what's different about folks like me who are empaths.

I AM still having physical troubles so that is some of it, I'm assuming, and will eventually become less of an issue as the months progress. What I'm feeling now is more likely how I feel emotionally for those around me, not just what I'm going through; a physical thing and a large financial thing (which is why I have a GoFundMe debt fundraising campaign) and that leads to personally feeling way out of whack. There's some weird stuff going on right now!

I would love nothing more than to grab all the folks struggling right now, wrap them up like burritos and protect them in bubble wrap until they are all safe, happy and secure.

Recently I was ready to shut down completely or cry a lot. I didn't do either. I haven't allowed much quiet time for myself lately ... that was the first mistake when I start to feel this way (it happens every few months) and I can fix that by shutting off and just being silent with my art, so I'm gonna! My diet is changing, so I should feel better at some point soon. High protein foods are so good for so many reasons but they help in becoming grounded: the number one benefit for empaths.

To feel more like "me" again, I believe I'm going to have to feel a little more secure in "the knowing". I'll find it through meditation and I can do more of that too, so I'm gonna! This is: the knowing that all is well. I'm breathing in and breathing out. I'm able to move around, I can see, speak and smile. I always believe everything happens as it should, people and circumstances arrive on time, when they should. I have to remind myself of this, so I'm gonna!

Meanwhile, please, send some love out into the Universe, it needs it. Close your eyes and send lots of white light not just to me but to everyone throughout the whole world.

Namaste,
Cindy

I'm Back!!

I don't know if many of you realized I've been away from blogging for three weeks. We've been without the internet, or had limited service during that time and I wasn't able to write in my blog.

While away I decided to revamp my posts. I am going to keep a few things I liked: "In The Studio" posts for sure will stay. I'm going to add an "how-to" post each week. Some people have mentioned wanting to try making a mosaic but being afraid to start. I would love for everyone to just come to my future workshop space and learn some basics and intermediate mosaics. But until I get that part of my life figured out, I can share some things here.

I think it would be good to have some learning info in one central place, so I will be working on adding a post this weekend. I'm thinking of making a page to share some of the mosaics I have for sale, just as an additional place to purchase or order customs directly for those who like to read my blog, want to order something but really get tired of clicking on links and leaving the blog post to see what I'm selling. Now you shouldn't have to. I won't post everything I sell, but enough to give you something to look at without leaving the blog.

Meanwhile, Promo Blasts! will go away for a while and in its place there will be a personal post about my life on Monday's and possibly Friday's too. Some general things, some important things. A place for me to vent if I need it. You don't have to read those unless you really are interested but blogging for me has always been a way to express myself through writing, and I want to do that once more.

I'm not sure there will be any other posts but the FRESH START GoFundMe campaign is still going only not strongly at the moment. I could really use help with getting donations for that and I'm really not sure how to do it.

My vision boards for the next phase of business are looked at lovingly each day. I haven't forgotten where I want to go. I just put things on the back burner when other things became a bit more important.

So here is a quick grouping of photos of mosaics I've worked on while I was gone. Some are waiting for glue to dry, some just got listed. All are pretty cool, if I do say so myself.

Privacy screen - listed on aftcra

This vertical one is staying with me for a few reasons, but mostly because I love it too much to part with.

flower trivet - listed on aftcra

Large privacy screen - waiting for glue to dry to grout.

moon and sun plate in the window (second photo below shows how this same plate looks sitting flat on a surface) - listed on aftcra

Hummer and Groovy Flowers - waiting for glue to dry to grout.

Hummer and Groovy Flowers sitting in the frame on the windowsill - waiting for glue to dry (all the white you see in the background is glue, I used tempered glass to fill it in which is a clear glass).

Support Independent Artisans, Designers and Crafters for your gift-giving needs all throughout the year. Thank you!~Cindy, EarthMotherMosaics

Personal Fundraising Campaign Update - Friday

My personal campaign continues. I have to say it's been an awesome week. I am positive this debt will get paid through the donations, my own hard work in ways to sell mosaics as the months continue on and through friends purchasing mosaics through my online shops. Almost all I raise on my own will get donated after I've taken out what I need for supplies to keep the business running and a few personal items like supplements.

One friend bought mosaics from my Storenvy shop this week. Another did a little online shopping and requested I hold a few mosaics for them so they could send a check instead of using the online shopping carts.

I am well supported emotionally and lovingly by many dedicated people and I am honored to be in their tribe.

One frequently returning customer is going to offer something special to those who donate in an FB group they run, in association with my GoFundMe campaign at some point in the future. How amazing is that?!

I've been emailing the lawyer all week and we settled on an arrangement. I have 10 months to pay off the remainder of the debt after sending them $1250, which was the first amazing payment I received in the fundraiser. That means on the first of each month I'll owe a little over $400 for 10 months. It sounds reasonable and even possible.

What I love the most about this situation is how I responded to it. Okay, so, I did panic, I did feel my blood pressure rise. I even felt like crying at one point but I didn't. What I did do, after the initial shock, was go into action-mode and ask for help through the fundraiser, create a discount in one of my online shops to promote sales, and started looking at ways to expand on how I sell my mosaics.

I've changed how I look at the obstacles ahead of me. What a wonderful thing! I'm not afraid or scared. I just find the best solutions.

For instance: I'm looking into finding a volunteer to help me for a day in August. I haven't decided I'm going to do this yet, but there is a local craft fair happening that month. I would love to do a few craft fairs a year. I didn't always feel that way, but now I'm ready. Sort of. I need confidence (personally lost a lot when I lost my teeth --- I used to smile all the time and now I never do --- even embarrassed to talk to someone in person --- it's the first thing people see and they focus on it even if they don't realize it --- I'm very sensitive about that!). I need to show my work in places I haven't before and that means spreading my wings a bit. Getting out of my comfort zone a little bit too. Teeth or no teeth. My dental troubles will get taken care of eventually. Who knows, if I do enough craft shows and get a good profit going, I can go to the dentist! Wouldn't that be awesome?! In the meantime, I've started collecting beautiful scarves for a few reasons: to hide the double-chins and if need be, I can use them to distract from the facial flaws I feel I have. Every time I go out, I wear one. They are a confidence booster and I love that!!

I definitely need a few things before I can do craft shows. A lot goes into doing these. I can get the money gathered to rent space, it isn't as expensive as some are. I can get a table from my Dad to borrow for the day but I would need to rent a tent (way more expensive than the rental for the table). I may need things I don't even know about yet. And can't do any of it without a volunteer or two. I know I can't man a table by myself and mosaics are too heavy to carry around, down and up steps and so on. I don't think I could pick up a table and carry it too far today. I no longer drive, so someone would have to do that too. So much to consider but not impossible. How about that?! I'm leaving my comfort zone and I'm okay!

I'll keep you posted on that adventure once I do more thinking about it. It would be nice to get out and share the love.

If you all could take a minute or two to read the campaign, donate to it if you can and share it if you would, I'd appreciate it. Thanks so much and enjoy the moments!

https://www.gofundme.com/2a4bt492

Support Independent Artisans, Designers and Crafters for your gift-giving needs all throughout the year. Thank you!~Cindy, EarthMotherMosaics